???

HAVE YOU SEEN A BIRD OF HAPPINESS?

A health-resort city. A railway station. A small cafe without a single step. This had been our favourite heaven where nobody bothered us. I miss that place a lot, that place which does not exist any more nor will it ever reappear in my life. Quite recently I had a chance to be there. The railway station is the same, the cafe is no longer there, but the main thing is that those two girls who had once been us are no longer there, us who dreamed of love and were striving for it at any price. We loved life and expected miracles from it, at the same time we never rode along the sidewalk, only along the highway - towards our fate. Fearlessly spinning the wheels of our small manoeuvrable automobiles with only one seat among the cars, excited and hot with their speed, we were defying everything and everybody.

- You have parked so poorly that I am at a loss as to how I can pass here without scratching your cool car.

A joke for all possible situations which made the owners of fancy foreign cars turn pale at the approach of a cheeky girl in a wheelchair.

They say that the common rhyming of "death and love" is trite, boring, that there is nothing new or interesting about it, but in those days we were looking for either deliverance or happiness. We had already encountered "the gaunt one with the scythe", each of us had died once. As for happiness, it was slipping away, and chasing it was similar to madness. We were possessed, believing in our "tomorrow".

Have you ever seen the bird of happiness? Or believed in it? Well, we believed too, but we did not see love. I lived within "today", looked around, analyzed, made conclusions, became disillusioned and again began to look. Yanka was in a state of eternal searching. She stubbornly and obstinately looked behind every turn, door, car and bed. She hurried, made mistakes and searched again. She made enemies, people whispered behind her back. But no sooner would she turn around, the offender began to smile foolishly and could not decide any more for himself whether the degree of her crime was so large after all. Yana was charming. Sparkling eyes and splendid long red hair did not leave anybody a chance to escape being in love with her, at least for half a second. Men fell in love, lost their presence of mind, fussed, paid off and left. She did not want anything petty from them, about all kinds of stuff and of course about love.

-       I met two great guys at the nightclub. They offered me to have fun together straight off and made a promise to drive me home, decided to make the day for a disabled girl. That didn't go the way they intended it, though! I got them drunk as soon as possible and then we danced all night. I think I rubbed my hands quite sore against the wheels. Don't ask me what happened next. I remember we were dancing a slow dance, and Vlad was holding me in his hands, and then we went to his home. There was nothing serious really, but I did get coffee in bed. That's pleasant. You know, I think I fell in love.

-       You are a real amorous crow.

-       Well, so what?

-       Yan, do you think there is a future for you two?

-       I don't know. We are going to the theatre tomorrow, and to his country-house for the weekend. Enough about me, what about you?

-       What's the time now?

-       A quarter to five.

-       I have a date here at five. I'll introduce you. He is a really nice guy.

-       Do you love him?

-       I am not ready to admit this yet, neither to myself nor to you.

-       I think I could be loved too, yes?

-       I also think so.

The day before my wedding Yana split up with Vlad. She got on a train and left for a faraway city where her mother lived. When listening to the music by Mendelson I heard the wheel-clatter of the train that was taking away my friend, telling her about new love.